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Ted Cruz: Comedic Genius?
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) If you’ve ever watched a political pundit’s head explode, then you’ve experienced Ted Cruz. The Canadian born Texas Senator recently announced his intentions to run for President of the United States, but it wasn’t until he revealed his platform that it all began to make sense. Ted Cruz is known as the wild card of the Republican party, but mostly as its idiotic, Libertarian brother. From spearheading a government shutdown to playing chicken with Department of Homeland Security’s funding, Ted Cruz is often the answer when frustrated voters ask, “What the f&%k is wrong with these people?” Unabashed by criticism, Cruz marches through scandals wilfully ignorant…
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India’s Daughter: The Banned Rape Documentary
BY SHEIMA BENEMBAREK On March 4th 2015, the Indian government banned the planned release of India’s Daughter, a documentary by British filmmaker Leslee Udwin, which graphically depicts and discusses the rape epidemic in India through a profile of the gruesome Delhi gang rape of Jyoti Singh. The initial film release in India was scheduled to coincide with International Women’s Day (March 8th), however a court order quickly managed to deter those plans. It would appear that the Indian government believes releasing this documentary would only increase fear, tension and further incidents of violence. On the evening of December 16th 2012, Jyoti Singh, a 23-year-old university medical student joined a male…
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Elections 2015: What The Niqab Are They Talking About?
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) If you’ve been following the 2015 federal elections, then you’ve most likely learned a new word this week as politicians fall over themselves in the great niqab debate. Recently, Federal Judge Keith Boswell struck down the Conservative law mandating all face-covering veils be removed during the Canadian citizenship oath. While not citing the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, Judge Boswell merely deemed the rule unlawful, which saw an immediate appeal filed by the Prime Minister’s Office. To quote the great Stephen Colbert, that’s when things became “batshit serious.” First up were Conservatives, who claim they’re defending women’s rights from oppressive religious practices. Unfortunately, after months of…
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Town Bans Charter of Rights and Freedoms
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) The town of Birdbuzz, Alberta, sent shockwaves across the nation today as local councillors celebrate a historic 7-0 bylaw vote banning the Charter of Rights and Freedoms from the county. “This is such a liberating day,” explains councillor Bundy. “Finally the residents of Birdbuzz can experience true freedom.” This is not the first time Birdbuzz’s bylaws have been in the news. The county has seen several former bylaws struck down by both provincial and federal courts, including: banning atheism, yellow cars, and dentistry replacing dodge ball in elementary schools with weapons training “Christian’s only” parking spaces making three-point shots illegal in high school basketball 7 p.m.…
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Dating on the Danforth
BY SARAH ZOSCHKE Summer is around the corner and we’re all looking forward to enjoying every second of the sunny days and warm evenings to come. Say ‘goodbye’ to hibernating under those blankets and ‘hello’ to going out on the town. Dating season is also in full swing, so why not start planning your nights out with that crush you’ve had your eye on? No matter your age, whether it’s a first date or a night out with your long-term partner, here are some perfect places we’ve found along the Danforth for you to enjoy. CASUAL OUTINGS: THE GET-TO-KNOW-YOU STAGE Summer is the perfect time to go for a walk…
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My Wish to a Shooting Star
By Jenny Wilson Last Sunday night when I was driving back to Toronto, I was looking up at the sky and saw a streaking greenish light. At first I thought it was a plane, but then it disappeared, and I realized that I had just witnessed a shooting star! I just saw a chunk of space rock burning up in the atmosphere hurtling toward the earth. Obviously my first thought was ‘ well that was cool’ and then I realized that I got to make a wish. Who knows if this is actually a real thing? Odds are that it’s not real and nothing will happen, but I was not…
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Elections 2015: Full Bush
BY: FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) We’re not in Kansas anymore, or America for that matter. As the Canadian federal elections gear up in 2015, one party has already separated themselves from the pack. However, instead of leading by a large margin, they’re sticking out like a sore thumb. Running on the platform of tax cuts for the rich and superior security from terrorism, many Canadians find themselves wondering, “Why does this feel so familiar?” Jump back to 2004 and you’ll find the answer. The Conservatives have gone full George Bush. The parallels are uncanny. A less than popular leader who can’t see the forest for the trees, surrounded by business friends…
