BY JENNY WILSON
Everyone’s favourite consumer holiday is just under a week away: Valentine’s Day, or for those of us who are a bit more cynical, Singles Awareness Day. Now I could lie and say that Valentine’s Day doesn’t bother me, and most of the day it doesn’t, but there’s always one point where I just sit there and think “I’m not allowed to celebrate this “holiday”.” And then I end up consuming more chocolate than two couples put together.
I’ve never been able to truly celebrate the holiday as it was meant to be celebrated because I’ve always been single. Unless you count my grade eight boyfriend, but let’s be real, that wasn’t an actual relationship. Always being single definitely has its advantages and most of the time I like it, but on days when you’re supposed to be celebrating being in love or whatever, it’s kinda shitty.
Whenever I tell people I’ve never had a boyfriend they’re always so shocked. “Really? But why? You’re so funny, smart, talented… insert other pointless descriptor word here. Any guy would be lucky to have you.” Well that’s all fine and dandy, but I honestly have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to dating, and it’s probably because I don’t do it that often. It’s hard to go out with a person you barely know and find stuff to talk about. I once had to listen to a guy talk to me for over an hour about all the places he’s gotten drunk. Needless to say I didn’t go out with him again, but at least he talked. I’m not a super chatty person and when I go out with people who aren’t talkative it gets awkward really fast, because neither of us know what to talk about and the conversation is always strained. Most of the time it’s because I go out with guys who have virtually no shared interests. We probably met at a party and thought a date sounded like a good idea at the time, but once our liquid courage disappeared so does the charisma. Trust me, if there were Olympics for being bad at sober flirting I would probably win.
It seems like finding someone should be easy when I live in a city with 2.6 million other people, but apparently I’m picky. I don’t know what I want or maybe I do and he just doesn’t exist. Can he be a country boy but also a city slicker? Wear suits to work, but a t-shirt and jeans on the weekend. I want a guy who likes sports and wants to take me to games, but doesn’t force me to watch 10 hours of golf on TV. I want a guy who can fix my car, and not treat me like a total moron when they explain the problem to me. A guy who is good with directions and technology and building stuff. A guy who will take me skating, and skiing and snowmobiling, but who can also just chill on the beach. I want him to be spontaneous and daring, and I want him to want to try new things all the time. It’s all a very pretty idea, but it’s not a real person, (or if he is somebody find him and bring him to me.) Everyone always says love is about compromise and accepting the other person, but so far I haven’t met anyone that I’m willing to compromise for, and who knows maybe I never will.
Being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t the end of the world for me. Actually it’s pretty great because I can consume all the guilt free chocolate I want. But honestly I don’t know the difference between a single Valentines and a coupled Valentines so to me I’m not missing anything all that spectacular. Obviously I can speculate about how great a coupled Valentines could be, and hopefully eventually I can have a Valentine’s day like that, but until then a shout out to all the single ladies and lads on V-day. Do what you want. Who cares if you’re single? Buy yourself chocolate and roses. Remember, this is Single’s Awareness Day too, so hang out with all of your other single friends. And if this day still especially sucks for you then there is always chocolate, and chocolate makes everything better.
Cheers— and Happy Valentines.