BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) “I’d make the best of what you have now, because you’re going to be quite disappointed when you get there.” That is the advice given by Michael Gibbons, who recently experienced eternity after poorly hung Christmas lights fell into his eggnog, leaving him legally dead for 15 minutes. “There’s gum everywhere,” explains Mr. Gibbons, “and when you ask about the gum, everyone’s like ‘who gets to heaven and wants to clean up gum? It’s heaven, do whatever you want.'” While the gum situation was a small damper on his experience, there was a much larger problem Mr. Gibbons was unprepared for. “Everyone’s kind of a dick,”…