Elections 2015: Full Bush

BY: FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso)

We’re not in Kansas anymore, or America for that matter.

As the Canadian federal elections gear up in 2015, one party has already separated themselves from the pack. However, instead of leading by a large margin, they’re sticking out like a sore thumb.

Running on the platform of tax cuts for the rich and superior security from terrorism, many Canadians find themselves wondering, “Why does this feel so familiar?” Jump back to 2004 and you’ll find the answer.

The Conservatives have gone full George Bush.

The parallels are uncanny. A less than popular leader who can’t see the forest for the trees, surrounded by business friends who have already gotten what they wanted, and a populous frustrated over the growing wealth gap and stumbling economy. How does someone in this position hope to win an election?

Fear and free candy.

Why talk about the economy when ISIS could attack at any time? Who cares about MPs that don’t believe in evolution? Al Qaeda could be lurking. And of course, there’s always the underwater zombie terrorist cell Osama Bin Laden’s been forming. If they weren’t constantly reminded of terrorism, Canadians might worry about other things, like poverty amongst the elderly or crippling student debt, both statistically more likely to effect someone directly than being involved in a terrorist attack.

Then there’s the free candy: tax breaks. They’re the kinds that sound like they’re amazing, if only they applied to you. Don’t worry though, if anyone questions them they can always point to the strong econo… did we mention Boko Haram?

While other parties look to establish their platforms before the elections hit full speed, the Conservatives already have a clear message.

Be very afraid, and don’t ask me about anything else.

And why not? It worked for George Bush, and look how that turned out.