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    Because It’s 2015

    By now you’ve heard of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s famous response to the question: “why is [a gender balanced cabinet] so important to you?” But what else is he doing to help feminism in Canada? Aboriginal Women After years of Harper avoiding the issue, Trudeau has pledged to finally investigate the murders and disappearances of hundreds of Aboriginal women. But he isn’t stopping there; he plans to work with many Aboriginal communities and organizations to deal with the unique issues that these women and girls face everyday. Parental Leave Future fathers, this one’s for you, because feminism is not only limited to woman’s rights. Trudeau plans to increase parental leave…

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    Ted Cruz: Comedic Genius?

    BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) If you’ve ever watched a political pundit’s head explode, then you’ve experienced Ted Cruz. The Canadian born Texas Senator recently announced his intentions to run for President of the United States, but it wasn’t until he revealed his platform that it all began to make sense. Ted Cruz is known as the wild card of the Republican party, but mostly as its idiotic, Libertarian brother. From spearheading a government shutdown to playing chicken with Department of Homeland Security’s funding, Ted Cruz is often the answer when frustrated voters ask, “What the f&%k is wrong with these people?” Unabashed by criticism, Cruz marches through scandals wilfully ignorant…

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    Elections 2015: What The Niqab Are They Talking About?

    BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) If you’ve been following the 2015 federal elections, then you’ve most likely learned a new word this week as politicians fall over themselves in the great niqab debate. Recently, Federal Judge Keith Boswell struck down the Conservative law mandating all face-covering veils be removed during the Canadian citizenship oath. While not citing the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, Judge Boswell merely deemed the rule unlawful, which saw an immediate appeal filed by the Prime Minister’s Office. To quote the great Stephen Colbert, that’s when things became “batshit serious.” First up were Conservatives, who claim they’re defending women’s rights from oppressive religious practices. Unfortunately, after months of…

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    Town Bans Charter of Rights and Freedoms

    BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) The town of Birdbuzz, Alberta, sent shockwaves across the nation today as local councillors celebrate a historic 7-0 bylaw vote banning the Charter of Rights and Freedoms from the county. “This is such a liberating day,” explains councillor Bundy. “Finally the residents of Birdbuzz can experience true freedom.” This is not the first time Birdbuzz’s bylaws have been in the news. The county has seen several former bylaws struck down by both provincial and federal courts, including: banning atheism, yellow cars, and dentistry replacing dodge ball in elementary schools with weapons training “Christian’s only” parking spaces making three-point shots illegal in high school basketball 7 p.m.…

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    Elections 2015: Full Bush

    BY: FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) We’re not in Kansas anymore, or America for that matter. As the Canadian federal elections gear up in 2015, one party has already separated themselves from the pack. However, instead of leading by a large margin, they’re sticking out like a sore thumb. Running on the platform of tax cuts for the rich and superior security from terrorism, many Canadians find themselves wondering, “Why does this feel so familiar?” Jump back to 2004 and you’ll find the answer. The Conservatives have gone full George Bush. The parallels are uncanny. A less than popular leader who can’t see the forest for the trees, surrounded by business friends…

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    Christ Returns, Runs For President, Loses in Landslide

    BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) It’s finally happened! After centuries of waiting, Jesus Christ returned to earth and immediately set his sights on the most powerful position of influence in the world: President of the United States. And that’s when things went horribly wrong. In a glorious display of political novice, Christ was unable to connect with his target demographic at every stop on the Republican primary trail, leaving pundits to question whether Jesus miscalculated who his followers are. In Iowa, the return of Christ was met with great fanfare. Holding his own in the debates, things quickly went south for Jesus when it was discovered he had spent the day…

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    Study: Anti-Marijuana Ads Increase Sales

    BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) Canadian drug dealers have one thing to say about government anti-marijuana ads. Thank you! The Canadian government has launched a new anti-marijuana campaign to the delight of drug dealers across Canada who say the new ads have business booming. “I haven’t seen sales like these since the Blink 182 concert of 2003,” claims one anonymous dealer. “I used to give this shit away when making other sales, now I cant keep it in stock. It’s great.” The Canadian government decided to start its anti-marijuana campaign despite recent public opinion’s sway towards legalization, and widespread acceptance of the social drug as safe and harmless. Experts say the…

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    Federal Election Debate To Include Talent Show

    BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) The 2015 campaign trail just became a whole lot more interesting. By popular demand, Elections Canada has added a talent show portion to the federal election debate. “Recent voter turnout has not been good,” explains Tim Donut of Elections Canada. “The Canadian government has always been open to innovation, and with the success of talent shows such as American Idol and Canada’s Got Talent, we thought, ‘why not politics?'” While controversial, the new addition to the debates has sparked a renewed interest in the national election. “I think it’s wonderful,” says Allanah Smith from North Bay, Ontario. “Politicians are no different than Miss Universe contestants if…