-
Elections 2015: What The Niqab Are They Talking About?
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) If you’ve been following the 2015 federal elections, then you’ve most likely learned a new word this week as politicians fall over themselves in the great niqab debate. Recently, Federal Judge Keith Boswell struck down the Conservative law mandating all face-covering veils be removed during the Canadian citizenship oath. While not citing the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, Judge Boswell merely deemed the rule unlawful, which saw an immediate appeal filed by the Prime Minister’s Office. To quote the great Stephen Colbert, that’s when things became “batshit serious.” First up were Conservatives, who claim they’re defending women’s rights from oppressive religious practices. Unfortunately, after months of…
You May Also Like
7 Steps to Summer Safety
Girls’ Day Out
How This Tiny Tattoo Shop Is Making It Big
-
Town Bans Charter of Rights and Freedoms
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) The town of Birdbuzz, Alberta, sent shockwaves across the nation today as local councillors celebrate a historic 7-0 bylaw vote banning the Charter of Rights and Freedoms from the county. “This is such a liberating day,” explains councillor Bundy. “Finally the residents of Birdbuzz can experience true freedom.” This is not the first time Birdbuzz’s bylaws have been in the news. The county has seen several former bylaws struck down by both provincial and federal courts, including: banning atheism, yellow cars, and dentistry replacing dodge ball in elementary schools with weapons training “Christian’s only” parking spaces making three-point shots illegal in high school basketball 7 p.m.…
-
Elections 2015: Full Bush
BY: FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) We’re not in Kansas anymore, or America for that matter. As the Canadian federal elections gear up in 2015, one party has already separated themselves from the pack. However, instead of leading by a large margin, they’re sticking out like a sore thumb. Running on the platform of tax cuts for the rich and superior security from terrorism, many Canadians find themselves wondering, “Why does this feel so familiar?” Jump back to 2004 and you’ll find the answer. The Conservatives have gone full George Bush. The parallels are uncanny. A less than popular leader who can’t see the forest for the trees, surrounded by business friends…
-
GM Buys Detroit, Declares Bankruptcy, Receives Bailout
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) Detroit is no longer bankrupt; General Motors is. Kind of. In a radical move from the automaker, GM purchased Detroit, which is currently filed under bankruptcy protection as a city. After purchasing the city and all of its debt, GM then turned around and declared bankruptcy themselves, prompting the Canadian and US federal governments to once again step in with a taxpayer-funded bailout. “GM is a North American institution that provides thousands of jobs to Americans and Canadians,” explain GM officials. “Allowing us to go insolvent would be massively detrimental to those economies.” Detroit began filing for bankruptcy protection in July of 2013, and has faced…
-
Death of a “News” Network
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) It’s a great day for ethical media, or the end of democracy as we know it. It depends on who you ask. After several years of controversy and opinion-first reporting, on February 13, 2015, the ultra-right media station Sun News Network left Canadian airwaves with a whimper. Though its time was short, the fledgling network left a strong impression on supporters of both conservative and liberal values. “It’s a staggering blow to democracy,” proclaims Hubert Grumpins of Red Deer, Alberta. “For years Canadians were trapped with left-wing, socialist news networks like the CBC. It was a privilege to finally have a news station that spoke to…
-
How Opinion Became Belief
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) “Opinions are dead and the era of beliefs is upon us.” That is the theme to this year’s philosophy and society conference in Toronto, Canada, where many great minds came to debate the perceived merging of opinion and belief. “It’s a subtle, yet significant change,” explains Johnny Deepthought, philosophy professor from Laurentian University. “An opinion used to be an idea you agreed with, but weren’t committed to. Now everyone has beliefs and the misconception that beliefs are protected from scrutiny, even though most of their ‘beliefs’ are opinions. Everyone knows someone who doesn’t ‘believe’ in cell phones. What they mean is they don’t think they’re necessary,…
-
Study: Anti-Marijuana Ads Increase Sales
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) Canadian drug dealers have one thing to say about government anti-marijuana ads. Thank you! The Canadian government has launched a new anti-marijuana campaign to the delight of drug dealers across Canada who say the new ads have business booming. “I haven’t seen sales like these since the Blink 182 concert of 2003,” claims one anonymous dealer. “I used to give this shit away when making other sales, now I cant keep it in stock. It’s great.” The Canadian government decided to start its anti-marijuana campaign despite recent public opinion’s sway towards legalization, and widespread acceptance of the social drug as safe and harmless. Experts say the…
-
Federal Election Debate To Include Talent Show
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) The 2015 campaign trail just became a whole lot more interesting. By popular demand, Elections Canada has added a talent show portion to the federal election debate. “Recent voter turnout has not been good,” explains Tim Donut of Elections Canada. “The Canadian government has always been open to innovation, and with the success of talent shows such as American Idol and Canada’s Got Talent, we thought, ‘why not politics?'” While controversial, the new addition to the debates has sparked a renewed interest in the national election. “I think it’s wonderful,” says Allanah Smith from North Bay, Ontario. “Politicians are no different than Miss Universe contestants if…
-
Connectivity: Life’s Trivial Pursuit
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) “If someone had mentioned ‘staying connected’ meant to everyone else’s problems, I’d have never bought one” That was just one of many revelations to come from the first annual Reflections On Technology (ROT) conference held in Sudbury, Ontario, this past weekend. Experts, academics, and consumers alike spent three days on a technology-free retreat, where they could re-experience what life was like before cellphones and social media. “The longer I’m away from it, the less it makes sense,” explains Shane Newbert, Program Developer at You-slessApp. “I have Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Outlook, Google+, Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube accounts. Obviously I don’t have time for all of these,…
-
LGBT Community, Anti Same-Sex Marriage Advocates Rally Against Tim Hortons, Burger King Merger
“Corporations are people too” BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) There was a major wedding last month that has the business, political, and LGBT communities buzzing. Tim Hortons and Burger King finally tied the knot. Not since the decree “Corporations are people too” has there been a more high-profile gay corporate wedding, and Wall Street traders have been quick to boast the free market’s ability to push social progress. “It was beautiful,” says Mike Bochey, a stock trader at F&U Global. “There was so much red tape and restrictions when the idea first emerged, but luckily the free market is a welcoming community to new and open-minded ideas.” However, not every group…
