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GM Buys Detroit, Declares Bankruptcy, Receives Bailout
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) Detroit is no longer bankrupt; General Motors is. Kind of. In a radical move from the automaker, GM purchased Detroit, which is currently filed under bankruptcy protection as a city. After purchasing the city and all of its debt, GM then turned around and declared bankruptcy themselves, prompting the Canadian and US federal governments to once again step in with a taxpayer-funded bailout. “GM is a North American institution that provides thousands of jobs to Americans and Canadians,” explain GM officials. “Allowing us to go insolvent would be massively detrimental to those economies.” Detroit began filing for bankruptcy protection in July of 2013, and has faced…
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Dog Parks for East-Enders
It won’t be ruff for your pooch to make friends in these parks BY ANISSA STAMBOULI Owning a dog in the city can be tough, and providing an energetic dog with proper exercise and social interaction can be extremely time-consuming, depending on your location. On the Danforth has compiled this list of East-end, off-leash dog parks where your canine companion can play catch, frisbee, or even get their energy out playing with other dogs while you sit back and relax. F (Fenced-in) Gerrard Carlaw Parkette | 855 Gerrard St. E | F While this park is small, it’s quite busy with other dog-walkers and their pets. If your dog plays well with others,…
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Death of a “News” Network
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) It’s a great day for ethical media, or the end of democracy as we know it. It depends on who you ask. After several years of controversy and opinion-first reporting, on February 13, 2015, the ultra-right media station Sun News Network left Canadian airwaves with a whimper. Though its time was short, the fledgling network left a strong impression on supporters of both conservative and liberal values. “It’s a staggering blow to democracy,” proclaims Hubert Grumpins of Red Deer, Alberta. “For years Canadians were trapped with left-wing, socialist news networks like the CBC. It was a privilege to finally have a news station that spoke to…
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American Sniper: In-depth analysis from an insider!
BY AMINE BENEMBAREK American Sniper: Media and politics aside, let’s talk about the film! American Sniper is a drama film adaptation based on American Navy Seal Sniper Chris Kyle’s autobiographical book, American Sniper: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S Military History. It tells of his experience as a Navy Seal after ten years of service and multiple combat tours. The film adaptation is directed by Clint Eastwood, starring Bradley Cooper as Chris Kyle and Sienna Miller as Chris Kyle’s wife, Taya. We watch Kyle’s pinpoint accuracy as a sniper in battle, allowing him to save countless lives and earning him the title of a legend and American…
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Best Picture Reviews: The Theory of Everything, The Imitation Game
And here come the Brits… The Theory of Everything BY NIKKI TURNER The Theory of Everything follows the story of renowned scientist, Stephen Hawking. The film starts with Hawking’s early days at Cambridge, and goes on till his meeting with the queen for the first time. Eddie Redmayne portrays Stephen Hawking and Felicity Jones his first wife, Jane. Redmayne and Jones hold together a somewhat confusing timeline with their stunningly emotional—and in Redmayne’s case—physical performances. Against the backdrop of Hawking’s scientific accomplishments, the film hones in on the relationship between Stephen and Jane. The film is emotional and truly shows the difficulty the pair faced in living with Hawking’s early…
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Best Picture Reviews: American Sniper, Selma, Birdman
American Sniper BY NADIRA CHAND Following the U.S. Embassy bombings in 1998, Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) is motivated to enroll as a Navy Seal. Calling upon his hunting instincts, Kyle quickly establishes himself as a notorious sniper, referred to as a “legend” amongst his peers. Although he is hesitant to kill, he pushes forward under the pretext of protecting his country. Four tours later, Kyle has become estranged from his wife and his children. A hero in his own right, Kyle struggles with separating reality from the traumatic incidents of the war. Based on the memoir American Sniper: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History by…
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So, You Want to Board the Yoga Train?
How to join the yoga craze—without feeling like a total newb BY ANISSA STAMBOULI If you’re all about the Lululemon look but have yet to hit the mat, it’s not too late to make yoga a lifestyle—not just a fashion statement. As someone who values a tough fitness routine at the gym, I always viewed yoga as a stretching gig for those seeking relaxation and flexibility; however, after doing some research and trying yoga myself, I’ve come to realize that it’s more layered than I thought. For me, yoga has become a non-intensive way to unwind at the end of the day, mentally and physically, all the while gently toning…
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Christ Returns, Runs For President, Loses in Landslide
BY FRANK RUSSO (@ComedyRusso) It’s finally happened! After centuries of waiting, Jesus Christ returned to earth and immediately set his sights on the most powerful position of influence in the world: President of the United States. And that’s when things went horribly wrong. In a glorious display of political novice, Christ was unable to connect with his target demographic at every stop on the Republican primary trail, leaving pundits to question whether Jesus miscalculated who his followers are. In Iowa, the return of Christ was met with great fanfare. Holding his own in the debates, things quickly went south for Jesus when it was discovered he had spent the day…
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Sports Rivalries
BY KARA STEYN There is no room for rationale. Pride is on the line every single time. Their histories are embedded in tradition, an observance passed down from generation to generation. Their scales vary from countries to individuals, but the fervour never decreases. They are deal-breakers, debate-starters, blood-boilers. They incite an unparalleled passion in people. They are sports rivalries. Every four years the curtains open on the world stage of winter sports. Athletes who have been working their entire lives have a few moments to show off their talents. All this pressure has led to some incredible and intense match-ups. As soon as the Canadian hockey players touch down in…
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Being Single on Valentine’s Day
BY JENNY WILSON Everyone’s favourite consumer holiday is just under a week away: Valentine’s Day, or for those of us who are a bit more cynical, Singles Awareness Day. Now I could lie and say that Valentine’s Day doesn’t bother me, and most of the day it doesn’t, but there’s always one point where I just sit there and think “I’m not allowed to celebrate this “holiday”.” And then I end up consuming more chocolate than two couples put together. I’ve never been able to truly celebrate the holiday as it was meant to be celebrated because I’ve always been single. Unless you count my grade eight boyfriend, but let’s be…
